How to tell someone about your depression?

Telling someone about your depression can be incredibly tough on its own, but it’s markedly so if you’re not sure how they’ll react.

However, opening up to others can also be a turning point, one that helps you feel less alone and more supported.

I found it incredibly hard to open up to my best friends and family because I felt so ashamed and like I was being a burden to them.

That’s why I created this straightforward, evidence-based guide on how to do it.

1. Know why you’re sharing

Start by asking yourself:

• • What do I want from this conversation? Support? Understanding? Practical help?

• • Why now? Is it because you’re struggling more than usual? Is it starting to affect your daily life or relationships?

Clarity helps you express yourself better and sets expectations for both sides.

2. Choose the right person
   
   

Pick someone you trust. Someone who’s kind, non-judgmental, and ideally a good listener.

This could be:

• • A close friend or partner.

• • A family member.

• • A mentor, teacher, or even your GP.

You don’t need to tell everyone. Just one supportive person can make a big difference.

I only told my best friends and family, who were very understanding and helped them understand why I tend to isolate myself when my mood worsens.

3. Pick the right time and place

Choose a calm, quiet moment without distractions.

Avoid sharing during arguments or when emotions are already high.

Walking together, chatting over coffee, or taking a quiet drive can make the talk feel less intense.

4. Decide how much to share
   
   

You don’t have to go into every detail. Start small:

• • “I’ve been feeling really low lately, and I think it might be more than just a bad week.”

• • “I’ve been struggling with depression. It’s hard to talk about, but I didn’t want to keep it to myself anymore.”

If it helps, write it down first.

Some people even text or message it if speaking in person feels too hard at first.

5. Be honest, but gentle

You don’t have to use clinical terms. Use your own words, or explain how it feels:

• • “I feel numb and disconnected most days.”

• • “It’s hard to get out of bed or care about anything, even things I used to love.”

Avoid using blaming language. Focus on how you feel, not how they’ve made you feel (unless it’s part of the issue).

6. Anticipate different reactions
   
   

People might not respond the way you hope. Some may be supportive right away, while others might not understand or feel awkward.

That’s not a reflection of you. Many people aren’t taught how to talk about mental health issues.

It can hurt if someone dismisses you (“just think positive,” “snap out of it”), but it doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real.

Stick to those who listen and try to understand. At the end of the day, we want people around us who want the best for us.

Not everyone who knows I struggled with mood issues was as receptive as my best friends and family, with some straight up ridiculing and dismissing the theory of “being depressed” as a whole. While that can be painful, it’s something that we simply must accept.

7. Suggest ways they can support you

People frequently want to help, but often don’t know how. Be clear if you can:

• • “It’d mean a lot if you just checked in sometimes.”

• • “I don’t need advice, I just need someone to talk to.”

• • “Would you come with me to a therapy appointment?”

8. Mention if you’re seeking help

If you’re already seeing a therapist or doctor, say so. It shows you’re taking steps and makes others feel less helpless to assist you.

Don’t despair if you’re not getting help just yet. This might be the first step toward it.

Studies show that social support substantially buffers the impact of depression and can improve treatment outcomes.

Those with strong support networks are more likely to seek treatment and recover faster.

9. Use text or messaging apps
   
   

Writing it out can feel safer since you get time to think, and the person has time to digest what you’re saying.

Try:

• • “Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you something important… I’ve been struggling with depression lately. It’s been hard, and I didn’t know how to bring it up.”

Sometimes, written words come out more clearly when emotions are high.

I found it not to be as personal as telling someone face-to-face, which made it much easier for me to start the conversation and be open.

10. Write a letter or email

If texting feels too casual, a longer message can help you explain things more deeply, especially if you want to explain your symptoms, triggers, or needs.

You could include:

• • When it started.

• • How it affects your daily life.

• • What support would mean to you.

It also allows you to express yourself without being interrupted or judged mid-way through.

11. Use creative expression
    
    

Art can bridge the gap if talking directly is too vast.

Consider:

• • Drawing or painting how your depression feels.

• • Sharing a poem or song that resonates with you.

• • Sending a video or TikTok that explains depression well and adding, “This is exactly how I feel lately.”

This can validate your emotions and help the other person understand what’s going on in your inner world.

12. Share a mental health video or article

Sometimes using third-party content as a conversation starter helps.

You might say:

• • “This video about depression hits home for me. I’ve been going through something similar.”

This can ease you into the conversation and offer context without having to explain everything from scratch.

13. Bring it up in a therapy-related context
    
    

If you’re already in therapy (or considering it), that can be a natural transition:

• • “I’ve been in therapy for depression; it’s something I’ve been dealing with for a while.”

• • “I’ve been thinking about seeing someone for my mental health. I’ve been struggling more than I let on.”

14. Use humor or metaphors (carefully)

Some people express heavy topics more easily with humor or analogies:

• • “My brain’s been acting like it’s on airplane mode for the past month.”

• • “Mentally, I feel like a sock in a washing machine that’s spinning, soaked, and kind of forgotten.”

It can open the door gently with friends who connect through humor.

I usually tried using some humor after telling something serious to “take the edge off” and to avoid awkward situations.

15. Ask for help without labeling it (yet)

If you’re not ready to say, “I have depression,” just describe what’s happening:

• • “I’ve been feeling off for a while. Low energy, no motivation, sleeping weird, it’s starting to scare me.”

This still invites support without committing to labels.

16. Bring it up in a shared vulnerability moment
    
    

Open up when someone else shares something personal. These moments naturally create emotional safety. For example:

After a friend mentions they’re stressed or feeling lost:

• • “I relate to that more than I’ve said. I’ve been dealing with depression lately.”

It helps the conversation feel reciprocal and less exposing.

Studies show that people are often more supportive than we expect.

In one study by Corrigan et al. (2014), participants who disclosed mental illness generally reported less stigma and more support than they feared beforehand.

So, while fear is valid, it’s not always the outcome.

17. Give them a book, article, or podcast that explains depression

Sometimes letting someone learn on their own can make them more empathetic and better prepared to support you. You might say:

• • “I came across this book/podcast that reflects what I’ve been going through. I’d love it if you could check it out; it might help you understand.”

Some suggestions:

• • “Lost Connections” by Johann Hari.

• • “Reasons to Stay Alive” by Matt Haig.

• • A relevant episode from podcasts like The Happiness Lab or The Hilarious World of Depression.

18. Use a shared activity to ease into it
    
    

If talking is hard, do something side-by-side, such as gaming, cooking, walking, doing art, and then bring it up casually during or after the activity.

This lowers the pressure of eye contact or intensity and makes it feel more natural.

• • “Hey, while we’re here, I’ve been struggling with some stuff mentally. Thought I should say it instead of keeping it in.”

I frequently exercised with a friend or invited them over to play video games whenever I wanted to talk to them about my mental state, because I felt it was more comfortable for me and them to do it in more natural and “relaxed” circumstances.

19. Use an analogy from shared experiences

Relate it to something the person already understands. For example:

To an athlete:

• • “It’s like having an injury, but in your brain. You look okay, but everything feels off, and it affects everything.”

To a gamer:

• • “Imagine your energy bar is always at 10%. That’s what it feels like most days.”

This builds empathy and helps them get it more intuitively.

20. Bring it up in a group therapy or support group context
    
    

If you attend group therapy, you can mention:

• • “In my support group, we talked about how isolating depression can be, and it hit me that I haven’t shared this with people close to me.”

It shows you’re actively working on it and invites a deeper conversation.

21. Through a social media post (if you’re comfortable)

This isn’t for everyone, but if you’re someone who uses social media as a form of expression or advocacy, this can reach multiple people at once and reduce the need for 1-on-1 conversations.

Example:

• • “I’ve been dealing with depression for a while now. It’s not easy to talk about, but I wanted to be honest because silence makes it heavier.”

Even a subtle post can open the door to private support from people who understand.

22. Write a “mental health brief” like a personal note

Some people find it helpful to write a “self-report,” a short one-pager, or even a note that outlines:

• • What they’re experiencing.

• • What helps or makes it worse.

• • What they’d like the other person to know.

You can hand it to someone, leave it somewhere they’ll find it, or send it as a private message.

23. Use a mental health app to share how you feel
    
    

Apps like Moodpath, Bearable, or Daylio let you track your mood and symptoms, with some even generating reports.

Sharing one of those reports with a loved one can be a non-verbal but effective way to say:

• • “I’ve been tracking this because I’m not doing great. I didn’t know how to say it out loud.”

24. Frame it in terms of functioning or behavior changes

Instead of naming “depression” right away, you can focus on how your functioning has changed:

• • “Lately, I’m not myself. I can’t focus, I’m exhausted all the time, and nothing feels meaningful.”

This avoids labels while still making the point clear.

Final thoughts

Telling someone you’re struggling isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a symbol of strength since it’s a step toward healing.

You don’t have to carry this burden alone. And once you open that door, you might be surprised how many people are willing to walk through it with you.

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Please consider joining our forum and Facebook if you enjoyed reading this and would like to chat with like-minded peers about anything depression related.

It would certainly go a long way toward making my dream of creating a thriving, supportive community a reality!