Depression may cause perfectionism in certain ways, creating a bidirectional bond between the two.
While perfectionism is often seen as a precursor to depression, it can also emerge as a coping mechanism or result of depressive thinking.
I was always a perfectionist, but it got heightened even further when I was depressed.
Here’s how depression might promote perfectionistic tendencies:
- Compensating for feelings of worthlessness
Mood disorders often come with low self-esteem and a sense of unimportance.
Some individuals might develop perfectionistic tendencies to “prove” their value to themselves or others.
They may believe achieving perfection in tasks, relationships, or personal appearance will compensate for their feelings of failure.
Suffering from psychological issues can make people experience a lack of control over their emotions or lives.
Perfectionism frequently develops as an attempt to regain control by striving for structure or predictability. I think my perfectionism worsened because my life was suddenly so chaotic, and since I was desperately trying to regain command of my life.
This might manifest as rigid routines or an obsessive focus on getting things “just right.”
- Desire for external validation
Depression regularly causes isolation and disconnection from other people and the world.
For example, someone with depression might aim to excel academically or professionally by hoping that success will help them feel better or gain social acceptance.
Rumination (repeatedly dwelling on negative thoughts) can add to perfectionism.
A depressed person might overanalyze their past mistakes or shortcomings to overcompensate and avoid them at all costs in the future.
This overcorrection often creates perfectionistic tendencies since it sets impossibly high standards to avoid perceived failure or criticism.
- Black-and-white thinking
This mindset advances perfectionism, where anything less than “perfect” is viewed as a catastrophe.
Someone with depressive symptoms might feel that their efforts are worthless unless they achieve 100% success in some cases.
- Fear of negative outcomes
Psychological problems could heighten a person’s sensitivity to criticism or negative consequences.
They may adopt perfectionism as a shield to avoid potential rejection or disappointment.
This fear-driven perfectionism is often more about avoiding failure than achieving success.
- Using perfectionism to mask depression
Some individuals use perfectionism to hide their struggles from others.
They attempt to divert attention from their internal struggles by appearing highly competent or flawless.
This mask creates additional pressure and supports both perfectionism and depression.
- Depression-driven guilt
This guilt can push them toward perfectionism as they try to overcompensate for their perceived inadequacies.
- Idealization of a “better self”
Mental illnesses often long to escape their current state of despair, leading to the creation of an idealized version of themselves who is “perfect” and free from the flaws they associate with their depression.
- Internalized criticism
Struggling with a mood disorder frequently amplifies an internal critical voice, which might demand perfection to avoid self-judgment.
For example, someone may hear their inner voice saying, “You’re only worthy if you do everything flawlessly.”
This self-imposed pressure can make for a perfectionistic mindset as a defense mechanism against that relentless self-criticism.
I was spending so much time alone that I had far too much time to think and be self-critical. And when we’re alone and depressed, our mind tends to wander.
Depressed individuals who achieve something might briefly experience an improvement in their symptoms by offering a sense of accomplishment or distraction.
This success can reinforce the idea that perfectionistic efforts are the only way to feel better.
This reinforces a cycle where they feel they must be perfect to escape depressive lows, even though this is unsustainable.
People going through psychological difficulties regularly experience guilt and concern about being a “burden” to loved ones.
They may adopt perfectionistic behaviors to avoid appearing “weak” or “incompetent” to counteract these fears.
They might strive to be overly self-sufficient or highly efficient to prevent others from noticing their struggles, leading to a perfectionistic impression.
- Striving for redemption
Depressive symptoms can make people hyper-aware of past mistakes or perceived failures.
They may adopt perfectionism to “redeem” themselves since they feel that only a flawless performance will make up for their past shortcomings.
This drive can manifest in relationships or other areas where they feel they previously fell short.
- Existential overcompensation
Mental issues can create existential questions about meaning or one’s worth.
They might focus obsessively on excelling in a particular area (career, academics, fitness) to counter feelings of purposelessness.
Perfectionism can even become a form of self-punishment.
Those who are depressed might push themselves to achieve unrealistic goals to “atone” for feeling insufficient or unworthy.
This can show itself as chronic overworking or harsh self-discipline.
- Difficulty accepting help
Psychological struggles often make one feel ashamed or embarrassed about needing support.
That’s why they may develop perfectionistic tendencies to create the appearance that they don’t need help to prevent themselves from looking vulnerable.
They might strive to handle everything independently or present an image of having everything “under control.”
- Sense of responsibility for others’ emotions
Depression can create a belief that one is responsible for others’ happiness or well-being.
They may adopt perfectionism to meet perceived expectations and to avoid disappointing others.
A parent with depression might strive to be the “perfect” caregiver, or an employee might overwork to ensure their boss is never dissatisfied.
Mental difficulties often heighten sensitivity to perceived criticism or judgment from others.
Individuals may become perfectionistic to avoid these painful experiences by trying to prevent criticism by doing everything “flawlessly.”
This frequently causes hyper-vigilance and an obsession with meeting the standards of others.
Depression often brings overpowering emotions like sadness or anger.
Some individuals throw themselves into tasks by focusing obsessively on doing them “perfectly” to avoid having to confront these feelings.
This task-focused perfectionism can act as a coping mechanism by temporarily distracting them from their inner turmoil.
Cultural or societal pressures, such as the idea that one must always be productive or successful, may feel more oppressive when someone is depressed.
Mental illnesses can intensify the perceived need to meet these expectations, leading to perfectionistic behaviors to conform or prove their worth.
Depression impairs cognitive functions such as decision-making and realistic judgment.
That’s why they regularly set excessively high standards without recognizing their limitations, encouraging perfectionism.
A depressed person might believe they must “fix everything in their life” to feel better, which is an inherently perfectionistic goal.
Psychological issues cause individuals to feel disconnected from their sense of self or identity.
They might adopt perfectionism to create an “ideal” version of themselves to rebuild their self-image.
This can manifest as an obsessive focus on specific traits such as being the best student or parent.
It got to the point where I almost didn’t recognize myself anymore when I looked in the mirror, as weird as that might sound. Even though I looked like the same person, I felt like someone completely different.
Depression often leads to more social withdrawal, but individuals may still engage with social media where they are exposed to curated portrayals of others’ lives.
This can strengthen feelings of failure and lead to perfectionism as they strive to “keep up” or emulate the successes they see online.
The vicious cycle
Perfectionism that comes from depression can create a self-strengthening cycle:
- Depression lowers self-esteem and increases feelings of falling short.
- A person adopts perfectionistic behaviors to counteract these feelings.
- Perfectionistic goals that are unmet (as they often are) lead to further feelings of failure that worsen depression.
- This maintains the cycle by intensifying the need for perfectionism as a coping strategy.
How to deal with depression-driven perfectionism?
Dealing with perfectionism that arises from depression requires tackling both conditions simultaneously with strategies such as:
- Therapy
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) helps identify and challenge distorted thoughts fueling both perfectionism and depression.
Practicing kindness toward oneself can reduce the need for external validation and perfectionistic coping mechanisms.
Learning to set realistic and flexible goals aids in reframing success and reducing the pressure to be perfect.
Mindfulness can improve emotional regulation and reduce the tendency to ruminate or doomthink.
Medication may help stabilize mood if depression is severe by making it easier to address perfectionistic tendencies.
Why depression-driven perfectionism is unique
- Unlike perfectionism rooted in personality traits (perfectionistic tendencies developed in childhood), depression-driven perfectionism is often more reactive and tied to emotional pain or a need to escape depressive symptoms.
- It is typically less sustainable and may feel more desperate since the individual clings to perfectionism in hopes of lessening their suffering or gaining control over their hectic emotions.
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