The connection between perfectionism and depression is well-documented in psychological research.
Perfectionism is often associated with various mental health challenges, with depression being one of the most important and well-known issues.
As a perfectionist, I would say that the negative self-talk and never being satisfied added to my rumination and, consequently, depression.
This is how they’re related and how they can affect each other:
While striving for excellence can be healthy, maladaptive perfectionism, characterized by excessively high standards, fear of failure, and harsh self-criticism, has been closely associated with depression.
Perfectionists frequently feel their self-worth is tied to their achievements, making them feel like a failure when they fall short. They may ruminate over perceived disappointments and imperfections.
Perfectionists are prone to all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, and overgeneralization.
Sadly, this could fuel depressive symptoms by reinforcing negative beliefs about themselves.
The pressure to meet unrealistic standards can create chronic stress, a strong threat to mood disorders.
At my worst, I felt so much strain to achieve that I was constantly fretting about where I was and wanted to be, and my psychological state suffered.
Perfectionists often lack self-compassion, which makes it harder for them to cope with setbacks or self-perceived shortcomings.
Perfectionists often have an intense fear of failure, potentially causing feelings of inadequacy and shame when they perceive they haven’t “measured up.”
This anxiety can contribute to social withdrawal, loneliness, and eventually depression if they believe their worth depends on their achievements.
Many perfectionists rely on external validation (praise, recognition, or approval) to feel good about themselves.
This can lead to self-doubt and depressive episodes when validation is absent or negative feedback occurs.
Perfectionists often overwork themselves to meet impossible standards, leading to physical and emotional burnout.
Burnout can drain mental resources, making individuals more vulnerable to mood disorders.
A lot of perfectionists’ identities and self-worth are tied to their accomplishments.
Any perceived failure or inability to achieve perfection can lead to an identity crisis.
Depression may develop when they feel they are “not enough,” regardless of their efforts or successes.
Perfectionism can lead to procrastination by delaying tasks they fear won’t meet their high standards.
This can create a cycle of guilt, self-criticism, and helplessness.
Perfectionism is often rooted in early experiences, such as having highly critical or demanding family members.
These experiences can also contribute to a predisposition to depression later in life.
A history of trauma or emotional neglect can worsen both perfectionism (as a coping mechanism to gain approval) and depression (through unresolved emotional pain).
Perfectionists are more likely to compare themselves to others and focus on their perceived shortcomings.
The problem is that I (and other perfectionists) never compare myself with others who are worse at something than me, and always with those who are better than me at something. That’s not exactly helpful for my mental condition.
These comparisons can amplify feelings of disappointment and falling short in today’s world of curated social media.
Perfectionists tend to overgeneralize their failures.
For instance, “I failed this one thing, so I’m a failure at everything”.
This type of catastrophic thinking creates a breeding ground for depression, where the person feels stuck in an endless loop of self-doubt and negativity.
Many perfectionists suffer from impostor syndrome, the belief that their achievements are not real or deserved.
This persistent fear of being “found out” could create chronic stress and depression when they feel they can’t maintain their disguise of perfection.
Perfectionists often suppress their emotions to maintain an image of control or competence.
Bottling up emotions might lead to emotional numbness, dissatisfaction, and eventually depression because these unprocessed feelings accumulate over time.
How perfectionism and depression affect each other
- Perfectionism worsens depression
A perfectionist mindset may intensify depressive symptoms due to failure and despair.
Perfectionists are also more likely to isolate themselves due to the fear of judgment.
- Depression fuels perfectionism
Suffering from mood disorders can amplify the critical inner voice and make perfectionists even harsher on themselves.
Depressed individuals may cling to perfectionism as a way to regain control or prove their worth.
The constant rumination that went along with my depression worsened my inner detractor even more, making me even more self-critical and perfectionistic.
- Impact on behavior
Perfectionism might lead to procrastination and avoidance, since perfectionists fear not doing something “perfectly.”
Depression often reduces motivation. This leads to frustration and further self-blame because it clashes with the perfectionist’s high standards.
How to break the cycle of perfectionism
Practicing self-sympathy can help perfectionists reframe their inner dialogue and reduce harsh self-criticism.
Example: Treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend who makes a mistake or has failed.
Research shows that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is highly effective in helping individuals identify and challenge unhelpful thought patterns associated with both perfectionism and depression.
Learning to set achievable standards instead of idealistic ones can reduce stress and help build confidence.
Practices like meditation can help perfectionists develop a non-judgmental attitude toward their thoughts and actions.
- Seek professional help
A therapist can provide strategies adapted to an individual’s experiences to deal with both perfectionism and depression simultaneously.
Sadly, perfectionistic traits are associated with negative attitudes and concerns about seeking out professional help, which is why they are at higher risk of not receiving treatment when they need it the most.
Conclusion
Perfectionistic traits aren’t all bad, as there have been studies suggesting that there are both adaptive and maladaptive components to them.
Still, there seems to be a strong connection between perfectionism and the risk of going through psychological distress.
Luckily, reducing self-criticism and shame while promoting self-compassion can ease this mental suffering.
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