Helping someone with depression is certainly not an easy thing since it can be emotionally draining and exhausting.
That’s why caregivers should always look out for themselves and know where to seek personal support and information to stay healthy.
It requires a combination of empathy, support, and, most likely, much patience.
I certainly wasn’t always the easiest to assist when my mood was down, and I would say that one of the requirements to get better is that you have to be willing to accept help and do the work.
These are the most common and best ways to assist someone who is struggling:
It’s hard to help someone when you don’t grasp what they’re going through and dealing with.
That’s why you should aim to understand depression and how it affects people. This will help you provide informed support.
Depression is more than sadness. It’s a medical condition that affects thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Try to familiarize yourself with common symptoms such as fatigue, irritability, hopelessness, and changes in sleep or appetite.
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- Be a safe space
Let them express their feelings without fear of being judged or dismissed.
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- Avoid minimizing their pain
Don’t say insensitive things like “Just cheer up” or “You have so much to be happy about.”
Instead, you should validate their feelings with statements like, “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I’m here for you.”
This shows that you care and are trying to help them.
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- Practice active listening
Show empathy by reflecting on what they share.
For example, “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed.”
I can’t stress enough how much it helped when someone just took the time to actually listen instead of judging. Just knowing that someone was willing to hear what you have to say already goes a long way toward recovery.
Suggest that they speak with a therapist, counselor, or doctor.
Depression often requires treatment like therapy, medication, or both.
Offer to assist them with practical steps, such as finding a mental health professional or accompanying them to appointments.
Remind them that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Perhaps one of the most overlooked things is that recovery from depression is not linear and can take time.
They may have good days and bad days. Make sure to avoid pressuring them to “snap out of it” or to expect immediate improvements.
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- Help with daily tasks
Depression can make even small tasks feel insurmountable.
Offer to help with stuff like grocery shopping, cooking, or cleaning.
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- Encourage self-care
Kindly propose activities that promote well-being, such as taking a walk, eating healthily, or practicing relaxation techniques.
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- Be proactive
Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” suggest specific ways to help, like, “Can I bring you dinner tomorrow?”
Mood disorders often lead to isolation, so invite them to spend time with you in low-pressure settings.
Suggest activities they might enjoy or used to love, like watching a movie together or going for a short walk.
Respect their boundaries if they decline, but continue to reach out periodically.
Even though I didn’t always feel like it, my friends did help a lot to get me out of the house and to feel a sense of connection.
Always take it seriously if they express thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
Signs may include:
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- Talking about death or suicide.
- Withdrawing from loved ones.
- Giving away possessions or writing a will.
- Engaging in risky behavior.
- Expressing feelings of despair or being a burden.
If you notice these clues:
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- Ask directly
“Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”
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- Stay with them
Do not leave them alone if they are at immediate risk.
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- Seek help
Call a crisis hotline or emergency services in your area.
Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally taxing. Furthermore, it’s extremely difficult, if not impossible, to help someone else to your full potential if you’re not feeling good yourself.
Ensure you:
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- Set boundaries to avoid burning out.
- Talk to someone you trust about your feelings, or consider joining a support group for caregivers.
- Engage in self-care activities that replenish your energy and resilience.
- Be encouraging but realistic
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- Celebrate small victories, like getting out of bed or attending an appointment.
- Remind them that recovery is possible, but acknowledge that it will take time and considerable effort.
Let them know they are not alone and that many people recover from depression with the right support and treatment.
Sharing stories of others who have overcome similar challenges can provide hope, as long as it’s done respectfully and appropriately.
Depression often leads to a lack of structure by disrupting daily life.
You can assist by helping them establish a moderate routine that includes:
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- Regular sleep schedules.
- Small, achievable goals for the day.
- Time for self-care and relaxation.
Routines provide a sense of normalcy and accomplishment, which improves mood over time.
Acknowledging the strength and courage it takes for them to face depression can be uplifting.
Say things like:
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- “I admire how you’re working through this.”
- “It takes courage to talk about what you’re going through.”
This reminds them they are not defined by their illness.
Depression makes even simple tasks feel exhausting and impossible.
Break large tasks into small, manageable steps and celebrate progress. For example:
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- Instead of “clean your room,” suggest “Let’s pick up the clothes first.”
Helping them get started already goes a long way toward rehabilitation.
Creative activities can be therapeutic and provide a distraction from negative thoughts.
Offer to do something creative together, like:
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- Painting, drawing, or writing.
- Playing a musical instrument or listening to music.
- Cooking or baking a simple recipe.
These activities provide a sense of accomplishment and enjoyment.
Just your consistent presence can provide immense comfort already.
Even if they don’t feel like talking, sitting with them in silence, watching TV, or reading nearby can make them feel less alone.
Encourage small changes to create a more uplifting environment:
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- Opening the blinds to natural light.
- Playing soothing or upbeat music.
- Helping them declutter their space for a more calming atmosphere.
These small environmental adjustments can subtly improve mood, even though they might not realize it.
I must admit that I felt a lot better and more “structured” when I cleaned my living space and started getting more natural light.
Depression often clouds self-perception, making it hard to see positive qualities. Gently remind them of their strengths, such as:
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- “You’re such a thoughtful friend.”
- “I’ve always admired your creativity.”
This can help combat the pessimistic self-talk that depression often brings.
Everyone copes differently with depression.
If they find relief in specific activities or habits, like watching comfort shows, journaling, or gaming, then make sure to support their preferences rather than imposing your ideas of “helpfulness.”
Instead of offering generic reassurances like “Everything happens for a reason,” acknowledge their pain and offer realistic reassurance, such as:
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- “I know it’s hard right now, but I’m here for you.”
- “We’ll face this one step at a time.”
This shows empathy without minimizing their feelings.
Knowing their triggers can help you support them in avoiding or managing them.
If they feel comfortable sharing, you can ask about their triggers and situations, or thoughts that worsen their depressive symptoms.
Make sure to check in with them consistently, even if they seem better.
Depression can be cyclical, which means that ongoing support is vital.
A simple message like “Thinking of you” can make a big difference.
Depression isn’t something that resolves overnight.
Be prepared to offer long-term support and adapt your approach as their needs evolve.
Even though I am feeling a lot better nowadays, I still have my bad periods, which is why I know I need the support of my best friends and family in the long run.
- Encourage gratitude journaling (if they’re open to it)
Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift focus away from negative thoughts. For example:
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- “I had a good cup of coffee today.”
- “The weather was nice.”
You can offer to do this activity together to make it less intimidating.
If they struggle to believe things can improve, hold that hope for them. Remind them by saying things like:
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- “You’re not alone in this.”
- “There’s help available, and I’ll be here every step of the way.”
Your belief in their ability to heal can inspire them to take the next step.
Suggest attending therapy sessions together if they are hesitant to seek help alone, such as family or couples counseling.
This shows solidarity and helps them feel less intimidated about the process.
Depression can drain the joy out of someone’s life, but you can help them reconnect with things they used to enjoy. For example:
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- Plan low-stress outings like a picnic or visiting a quiet park.
- Remind them of hobbies or activities they once loved, and offer to join in.
Even small positive moments can make a difference over time.
- Share your struggles (when appropriate)
If you’ve faced challenges with mental health or similar struggles, sharing your story (in a way that doesn’t overshadow theirs) can make them feel less isolated and help normalize seeking help.
Depression often involves distorted thinking.
Gradually and slightly challenge these negative notions by helping them see alternative perspectives. For example:
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- If they say, “I’m a failure,” you could respond, “You had a tough day, but one bad day doesn’t define you.”
- Help them recognize accomplishments, even the small ones.
Goal setting can be very challenging for someone suffering from depression.
You can help them by breaking goals into tiny, achievable steps. For example:
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- Instead of “Exercise daily,” suggest “Let’s take a 5-minute walk today.”
- Celebrate each small success to build momentum and confidence.
My goal at its worst was to get out of bed, which I didn’t achieve every day. While that objective might seem silly and trivial to you, it wasn’t to me at the time. It’s all about perspective and where you’re currently at.
Introduce them to tools that promote relaxation and stress relief, such as:
These small gestures can help ease their day-to-day stress.
Talking with others who’ve experienced similar struggles is helpful at times.
Suggest peer support groups, either in-person or online, where they can connect with others who understand what they’re going through.
Every person’s journey with depression is unique.
That’s why you should make sure to avoid saying things like, “My friend got over it by exercising more,” as it can feel dismissive.
Try to focus on their specific feelings and needs.
Sometimes, they may not want to talk but still crave company.
Let them know it’s okay to spend time together without discussing their feelings. You could:
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- Watch a movie or TV show.
- Work on a puzzle.
- Sit in comfortable silence.
This non-verbal support can be incredibly comforting just by being there for them.
Depression can make people more sensitive to certain interactions.
Pay attention to what they need right now, whether it’s space, time, or gentle encouragement.
Avoid pushing too hard and let them lead when they’re ready.
I always appreciated that other people were reaching out and willing to help. But I can’t deny that some took it too far and basically forced themselves into my presence, even when I made it clear it was not enjoyable.
Understanding the biological and psychological factors of depression can help reduce self-blame.
Share resources such as articles, books, or videos that explain this psychological disorder in an accessible and non-threatening way.
Ensure their trust by keeping their struggles private unless they express otherwise, if they confide in you.
Let them know you’re a safe, nonjudgmental close friend.
Offer to help them prepare if they have challenges coming up, like a stressful meeting or family event, for instance.
Role-playing, planning logistics, or creating a strategy together could ease their anxiety.
Sadness can be amplified at certain times of the year, like holidays or anniversaries.
You can offer extra support during these periods by:
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- Inviting them to low-key gatherings.
- Helping them create new, positive traditions.
- Encourage physical touch (if appropriate)
A simple gesture like a hug, holding hands, or a reassuring pat on the shoulder provides comfort and connection.
Always respect their preferences and boundaries regarding physical touch.
Helping others can provide a sense of purpose and distract them from destructive reflections.
Volunteer activities like helping at an animal shelter or community garden can also be low-pressure ways to get them out of the house.
Consider practicing gratitude together if they’re open to it.
Share one thing you’re each grateful for every day, even if it’s something minor like “a warm cup of tea.”
Key resources
Share relevant helpline numbers so they can receive aid.
Direct them to community or online groups where they can connect with others facing similar struggles.
Suggest websites or books about depression to help them understand their condition.
Conclusion
Each person’s journey with depression is unique, so flexibility and patience are key.
Your consistent care and understanding can play a critical role in their path to recovery.
Your role is to be a supportive presence, not to “fix” them.
You can help them take steps toward rehabilitation while ensuring they don’t feel alone in their journey by being compassionate and encouraging.
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It would certainly go a long way toward making my dream of creating a thriving, supportive community a reality!
