How to set boundaries when depressed

Setting boundaries when you’re depressed is necessary because it helps protect your emotional energy, promotes a sense of control, and allows you to prioritize your mental health.

I must say that I started feeling a lot better when I cut some negative people out of my life and decreased my exposure to antagonistic coworkers.

Mood disorders can make you feel devastated, drained, or even guilty about saying “no”. Healthy limits ensure you’re not overextending yourself or neglecting your needs.

Let me explain why.

Why is setting boundaries important?

  • Protects energy

Depression can sap your energy, and overcommitting can worsen this fatigue.

Restrictions guarantee you reserve your (limited) energy for essential tasks and self-care.

  • Reduces guilt

Being clear about what you can and can’t handle lessens the often-associated guilt for not meeting others’ expectations.

  • Supports healing

Prioritizing your mental health gives you the space and time to engage in activities that help you feel better once again.

  • Improves relationships

Transparent boundaries create healthier interactions by helping others understand what you could realistically offer.

  • Builds self-esteem

Saying “no” to things that harm or overpower your coping mechanisms strengthens your self-worth.

  • Protects mental clarity

Depression can cloud judgment and make you feel stuck.

Boundaries keep your emotional space clearer and more manageable.

  • Encourages rest

Struggling with psychological issues requires considerable mental and physical rest.

You risk burning out or becoming exhausted without setting some clear restrictions.

My energy was extremely low and valuable when I was depressed. Thus, it made sense to me to spend that little vigor I had on the people who loved me and actually wanted the best for me instead of wasting it on draining people.

  • Promotes sustainable relationships

Healthy boundaries promote sustainable, enduring relationships by reducing resentment and miscommunication with others.

How to set boundaries?
Image of a wooden fence.

  • Identify your limits

Reflect on what drains you of your energy. Consider emotional, physical, and mental limits.

    • Example: Limiting social engagements if they feel exhausting.
  • Be honest

Communicate your confines clearly but kindly. Use “I” statements to express your needs without blaming others.

    • Example: “I need some time alone right now to recharge.”

I’m often honest to a fault, and not everyone takes this kindly, no matter if I say things in good faith or not. Still, I think it’s better to be honest than to lie and deceive others.

  • Start small

Begin by setting simple, low-pressure boundaries.

    • Example: Avoid checking emails after work or declining non-essential requests.

Prepare short, clear responses to common situations where you need to set boundaries.

    • Example: “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I can’t take that on right now.”
      This makes it easier to assert your needs without the pressure of figuring out what to say in the moment.
  • Practice saying no

It’s okay to say no without overexplaining or feeling guilty. This will probably be a difficult process for most, so start with small steps if this feels hard.

    • Example: “I can’t take on this task right now.”
  • Prioritize self-care

Build a routine that focuses on activities that make you feel better, whether it’s resting, therapy, or hobbies.

  • Limit negative interactions

It’s okay to create distance or limit interactions if certain people or environments aggravate your depression.

I estranged myself from coworkers who were negatively impacting my mental health, helping me protect my mood and energy.

  • Use technology for support

Use texts or emails to set boundaries if verbal communication feels overwhelming.

  • Seek professional guidance

A therapist can help you learn to set and maintain boundaries. This can be useful if you’re struggling with guilt or fear of conflict.

Examples of boundaries

  • Limiting the time spent with people who consume all your energy.
  • Delegating tasks at work or home that feel overwhelming.
  • Saying no to social events that feel like too much.
  • Communicating specific times when you’re unavailable. For example, “I’m unavailable after 7 PM for calls”.
  •  Schedule “no-commitment” days to ensure you can recharge without interruptions.

Tips for maintaining boundaries
The sentence, "tips and tricks" made with scrabble blocks.

  • Be consistent

Stick to your restrictions, even if others push back.

  • Self-check regularly

Reassess your limits and adjust as needed.

  • Acknowledge progress

Celebrate small wins, like saying no or carving out time for yourself.

Conclusion

Boundaries are a form of self-respect and self-care. They’re not selfish, they’re self-preserving.

They’re not just helpful when someone’s depressed. In those instances, they need the space and energy to heal and maintain their emotional well-being.

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It would certainly go a long way toward making my dream of creating a thriving, supportive community a reality!

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