Practical coping techniques for people struggling with self-harm

It’s important to know that help and healthier coping mechanisms are available if you or someone you know is struggling with self-injury.

Although I never intentionally wounded myself, it’s clear to me that it should be addressed to ensure safety.

That’s why I compiled this list of techniques that can help manage the urge to self-harm:

1. Physical distraction techniques

• • Squeeze a stress ball or rip up paper to release tension.

• • Holding ice cubes can create a strong sensation without damage.

• • Snap a rubber band against your wrist.

• • Draw on your skin with a marker instead of cutting.

• • Engage in creative hobbies like drawing, writing, or playing music.

• • Watch a favorite show or movie to shift your focus away from pessimistic notions.

2. Cognitive distractions and reframing thoughts
   

• • Create a list of achievements, like getting out of bed or brushing your teeth. Even small accomplishments can work!

• • Reframe your inner dialogue more positively. If your mind says, “I can’t handle this,” try “I’m struggling, but I’ll get through it.”

• • Write down the reasons you want to stop damaging yourself and keep them somewhere visible.

• • Look at old happy photos or videos to remind yourself of positive memories.

• • Use humor to cheer yourself up. Watch a comedy, read funny memes, or look at animal videos.

3. Physical activities

• • Exercise by going for a walk, running, or doing yoga.

• • Dance or punch a pillow to release pent-up emotions.

• • Take a cold or hot shower to reset your senses.

Exercising is required to be and remain physically healthy, but I find that it’s also critical for my psychological state since my mood decreases after I don’t work out for a while.

4. Emotional expression

• • Write in a journal to process your emotions.

• • Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist when you feel overwhelmed or the need to self-mutilate.

• • Listen to music that matches your emotions, and then transition to something calming.

• • Cry if necessary to release emotions, since it’s natural and healthy.

5. Sensory grounding
   

• • Focus on your senses by identifying things you can see, touch, hear, smell, and taste.

• • Hold something comforting, like a stuffed animal or soft blanket.

• • Use aromatherapy (lavender, peppermint, or citrus can be soothing).

6. Self-soothing and relaxation

• • Try deep breathing exercises (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4).

• • Use progressive muscle relaxation to release tension in your body.

• • Practice mindfulness or meditation to center yourself in the moment.

• • Take a warm bath with essential oils or bath salts.

I practice deep breathing for 5–10 minutes each day to engage my parasympathetic nervous system, and it helps me to relax and calm my mind.

7. Shift your perspective

• • Remind yourself that urges pass by setting a timer for 10 minutes before acting on an urge.

• • Make a list of reasons not to self-mutilate and keep it nearby.

• • Write positive affirmations or self-compassionate notes to yourself.

• • Challenge negative thoughts by replacing them with more balanced and accurate ones.

8. Reach out for support
   

• • Tell someone you trust about what you’re going through.

• • Join a support group (in-person or online).

• • Seek out professional help from a therapist or counselor specializing in self-harm.

9. Creative outlets

• • Collage therapy may reflect your emotions by cutting out and pasting magazine images.

• • Clay or Play-Doh sculpting could be soothing since you’re physically working with your hands.

• • Write a letter (to yourself, someone you trust, or even your emotions) and either keep it or tear it up.

• • Make a playlist of songs that express how you feel, and another with uplifting songs to boost your temperament if needed.

10. Tactile and interactive sensations

• • Use textured objects (fidget toys, kinetic sand, or Velcro strips) for sensory engagement.

• • Put your hands under running water (switch between warm and cool temperatures).

• • Wrap yourself in a weighted blanket for comfort.

• • Try ASMR (whispers, tapping, or other soothing sounds).

• • Paint or color with your fingers by engaging your sense of touch with vibrant colors.

• • Use bubble wrap, since the sensation and sound can be stress-relieving.

• • Run your fingers through rice, beads, or dry beans for a grounding sensation.

• • Tap your fingers rhythmically to mimic drumming or tap out a favorite song.

• • Use a weighted or heated eye mask to relax facial tension.

11. Alternative sensory stimulation
    
    

• • Use a menthol rub or scented lotion on your skin for a tingling sensation.

• • Hold a hot beverage and focus on its warmth and smell.

• • Chew something with a strong flavor, such as mint, cinnamon, or sour candy.

12. Mind games

• • Count backward from 100 non-linearly, like by sevens, for example.

• • Play memory games (recall details of a happy memory, like a vacation or childhood event).

• • Solve a puzzle or do a crossword to shift focus.

13. Social and connection-based coping

• • Send a text or voice note to a friend, even if it’s just saying hello.

• • Join an online forum or subreddit centered on mental health support.

• • Volunteer or help someone else to divert the attention away from distress.

• • Hug a pet or spend time with animals if possible.

14. Behavioral alternatives
    
    

• • Mimic self-harm without injury (draw a red line with a marker, run an ice cube on your skin, or tear paper instead).

• • Write your thoughts on your skin instead of acting on them.

• • Create a self-care package filled with comforting items (letters from friends, soft fabric, stress toys, essential oils).

• • Make a list of small, achievable goals and concentrate on completing one.

My mind tends to wander to dark places if I don’t have an objective in life, even something as simple as going for a 5-minute walk 3 times a week can be exactly what you need to keep you going.

15. Visual and symbolic techniques (to counter mental imagery of self-injury)

• • Watch fish swim (live or in a video) for a calming effect.

• • Light a candle and focus on the flame.

• • Create a vision board with inspiring quotes and pictures.

• • Draw a butterfly on your skin and let it “live” as a symbol of self-kindness.

• • Tie a ribbon around your wrist instead of harming yourself.

• • Write worries on a piece of paper and safely burn or shred it as a release.

• • Create a personal ritual for difficult moments, such as lighting a candle, sipping tea, or listening to a calming song.

• • Wear a specific bracelet or ring as a reminder to stay strong.

16. Spiritual or personal reflection

• • Practice gratitude journaling (list three things you’re grateful for each day).

• • Pray or meditate if it aligns with your beliefs.

• • Read books or poetry that resonate with your emotions.

• • Find a mantra and repeat it during tough moments.

17. Body awareness and physical expression
    

• • Progressive muscle stretching could relieve physical tension by slowly stretching.

• • Shake it out by standing up and physically shaking out the tension in your body.

• • Go barefoot on different textures –like grass, sand, or a soft carpet to ground yourself.

• • Try acupressure or self-massage – Apply gentle pressure to stress-relieving points.

• • Stand in the wind or let water run over your hands – Notice the sensation fully.

18. Nature and outdoor activities

• • Stand outside and take deep breaths to feel the air on your skin.

• • Go for a slow walk and notice details such as what sounds, colors, or smells stand out.

• • Lie down and look at the sky to watch the clouds move or the stars shine.

• • Plant something by gardening or caring for a plant. This can be symbolic of self-growth.

• • Collect small natural items like leaves or stones and make an art piece with them.

I find walks in the forest to be very soothing while getting some much-needed physical activity at the same time.

19. Social and community engagement
    

• • Write a supportive letter to a future version of yourself.

• • Help someone else because acts of kindness can improve mood and perspective.

• • Join a club, online group, or local meetup related to a hobby or interest.

• • Adopt a “helping hand” mindset to try helping someone else when you want to self-mutilate.

• • Find a mental health buddy to check in with when urges arise.

Conclusion

I would suggest that you always seek out immediate help from a doctor or therapist if you’re hurting yourself or thinking about self-mutilation. We do not want this to get out of hand and potentially become life-threatening.

It’s important to remember that you’re not alone, and support is available.

These coping techniques can already go a long way to keep yourself or someone you love from harming themselves.

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