What are the typical signs of depression in men?

Depression in men often looks different from depression in women.

Speaking from personal experience, I tend to see women externalize symptoms more than men do, who seem more liable to internalize issues and signs of mood issues.

While sadness and withdrawal are common, men are more likely to experience irritability, anger, risk-taking behaviors, and physical symptoms rather than openly expressing sadness.

The following are the signs that males typically experience:

1. Emotional symptoms
   
   

• • Irritability and anger

Being easily frustrated, short-tempered, or aggressive.

• • Feeling “numb” or disconnected

Lack of emotions rather than vast sadness.

• • Hopelessness or emptiness

Believing that nothing will get better.

• • Increased anxiety

Being constantly on edge or restless.

• • Low self-esteem

Feeling like a disappointment, but not necessarily talking about it.

• • Sudden bursts of anger or aggression

Reacting strongly to minor annoyances or frustrations.

Although generally being calm and calculated, I did notice becoming more prone to outbursts and irritability.

• • Extreme cynicism or negativity

Constantly feeling distrustful, pessimistic, or resentful.

• • Excessive guilt or shame

Feeling like a failure or a burden to others.

• • Difficulty expressing vulnerability

Struggling to open up to others or acknowledge emotions.

2. Behavioral symptoms
   
   

• • Working excessively

Working an extreme amount as a distraction from emotions.

• • Substance abuse

Increased alcohol or drug use to cope with intense feelings.

I was certainly no alcoholic, but I noticed my desire to drink alcohol grew in an attempt to self-medicate and not care about my difficulties.

• • Reckless behavior

Engaging in risky activities like reckless driving, gambling, or unsafe sex.

• • Withdrawal from relationships

Avoiding family, friends, or social activities.

• • Losing interest in hobbies

No longer enjoying sports, sex, or things they once loved.

• • Becoming overly independent

Refusing help, insisting on handling everything alone.

• • Avoiding emotional conversations

Changing the subject or making jokes when emotions come up.

• • Engaging in unnecessary distractions

Constantly playing video games, watching TV, or working out to avoid thinking.

• • Compulsive behavior

Undue gambling, online shopping, or risky financial decisions.

• • Sudden changes in social behavior

Withdrawing completely or becoming extremely social to avoid being alone.

I tried dealing with my troubles on my own, and I typically find it difficult to ask for help. I felt embarrassed having to admit I was struggling and in need of help.

3. Physical symptoms
   
   

• • Chronic fatigue

Feeling exhausted even after resting.

• • Sleep disturbances

Either insomnia or sleeping too much.

• • Unexplained aches and pains

Headaches, muscle tension, back pain, or digestive issues.

• • Changes in appetite

Eating too much or too little can lead to weight changes.

• • Increased reliance on stimulants

Consuming more caffeine, nicotine, or energy drinks to stay alert.

I had so many sleep disturbances when depressed that I was fatigued all the time. As a consequence, I started drinking a lot of coffee to be somewhat productive during the day. Sadly, that only made it even harder to fall asleep.

• • Sudden decline in personal hygiene

Letting grooming or self-care slip.

• • Changes in posture or body language

Slouching, avoiding eye contact, or looking tense.

• • Digestive issues

Chronic stomach problems, nausea, or irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).

4. Cognitive symptoms
   

• • Trouble concentrating

Difficulty focusing at work or making decisions.

• • Negative thought patterns

Persistent feelings of failure or disappointment.

It got to a point where I was constantly ruminating and catastrophizing until I couldn’t even see the positives in life any longer. It also didn’t help my capacity to fall and remain asleep.

• • Suicidal thoughts

Thinking about self-harm or feeling like a burden.

• • Becoming highly self-critical

Feeling incapable or like nothing is ever good enough.

• • Difficulty making decisions

Even simple choices feel overbearing.

• • Frequent mistakes at work

Forgetting deadlines, losing attention, or feeling unmotivated.

• • Obsessing over the past

Dwelling on regrets or past failures.

Why depression in men is often overlooked

• Men are less likely to talk about their emotions or seek help.

I had a lot of trouble opening up and asking for assistance because I was not used to requesting help.

• Their symptoms (anger, aggression, or risky behavior) can be misinterpreted as personality issues rather than depression.

• They may dismiss their feelings as stress or burnout instead of recognizing depression.

• Males may over-exercise and push the body to extreme limits as a way to “outrun” emotional pain.

• May engage in risky sexual behavior, such as unsafe intercourse or seeking validation through sexual activity.

• Men could start making sudden life changes, like quitting a job, ending a relationship, or making drastic decisions impulsively.

Final note

Recognizing depression in men is crucial, as symptoms often differ from those in women.

Instead of sadness, men may exhibit irritability, anger, risk-taking behaviors, or withdrawal from loved ones.

Physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, and digestive issues are also common.

Many may downplay their feelings or avoid seeking help due to societal expectations.

Understanding these signs can lead to early intervention, better coping strategies, and improved mental health outcomes.

Join our forum and Facebook

Please consider joining our forum and Facebook if you enjoyed reading this and would like to chat with like-minded peers about anything depression related.

It would certainly go a long way toward making my dream of creating a thriving, supportive community a reality!